Dating Yourself

December 20, 2009
Why avoid loving yourself as much as you can before loving anyone else? Answer is, YOU CAN’T LOVE SOMEONE MORE THAN YOURSELF!!! One may think they can at any given moment but it’s against the ‘unwritten mysterious laws of love’. Loving yourself can begin at any age but, the ‘compost’ of bad habits piles higher each year creating a more and more insurmountable barrier. Why look for love in all the wrong places? Move on to the best person to love….YOU!

Settling for what turns out to be ‘junk food’ love is to indulge in abusing oneself for fear of standing way back and fixing the problems. People with unresolved problems usually pair with those similar but, to make it more complicated, with different problems. The relationship drifts down into the murky waters of not knowing who the problem is. Usually, it’s both! Marriages are typically held together by fear, low self esteem, and ignorance. Marriage that becomes like a ‘business’ where survival is month to month hoping there are no real downturns for many reasons, is doomed to be just that ‘a drudgery for survival’.

‘Taking time out’ to focus and improve on the shortages of inner qualities that you would like to see in another, is most prudent for saving love from drowning into an abyss of ‘where has all the love gone’. Identify those short comings which would show up with someone who had virtually no intimacy short comings. Saying they don’t exist is just to avoid the reality and, promote yourself from the ego to accept less than is deserved by an aware, loving you. People with very minor personal fears and problems do exist, albeit, few and far between. I have met some of those rare ones and, still communicate with them.

Settling for ‘heart flutters’ that fade into discord and, far away memories of love long gone, except for occasional flutters that amount to perhaps less than a good romantic TV movie, isn’t going to do well at the ‘Love Box Office’! Offers of love and it’s virtues of communication, compassion, giving, bliss, safety, and all joys imaginable are always knocking at one’s door but, ‘someone has to be home’! Fix the house inside into a home that the best of guests will want to enter!
Arhata