Stalking Isn’t Love
October 9, 2014
Repeatedly watching, following or harassing you within a relationship, or in a broken one is not an example of love. I’m currently witnessing a very attractive, classy professional 50 year old woman being watched, harassed, followed, and verbally abused by an ex boyfriend, middle aged, possessive, Don Juan wannabe. Like millions today who haven’t found out who they really are in their available ‘high consciousness’, he flirts with substance abuse while deeply involved with his delusions as well as ‘friendship’ with inner demons.
Many people stalk themselves while attracting another who does the same. That ‘self stalking’ is a repeated, often endless pattern of continuing to follow their inner faults, and unresolved issues through out a relationship, or serial relationships. You attract what you cling to inside yourself! Examining thyself, and making modifications is to unwrap the real beauty that hides inside you. The world is filled with negativity. All that’s necessary to have lots of it is to carry lots of it inside yourself. You and all were created for a purpose. Once you figure out what that purpose is blissful fortune smiles upon your life. Who you love always needs to be questioned as to why and how much.
Few can love so deep that love doesn’t need to be said anymore and just a breathing part of life, but only when all negative blocks are dissipated. Most are stuck with something they call love because they occasionally feel the emotion, and erroneously think that is all there is. Love is given out to everyone. The tragedy is that few breath in the whole supply to fill their very being with self perpetuating love endlessly. Your real true life companion to make you whole is to be filled with an abundance of love, and not just glimpses of it between depression, anxiety, and every type of other fear and limitation imaginable.
Pay attention to your heart. At times it may hurt or suffer but would you want a heart that didn’t feel, or even one that was excited at all times even when the moment is inappropriate? Love is freedom! Love does not possess! Love communicates. Love wants what the other wants for themselves without hurting anyone. Throw away self stalking, or stalking after someone else’s self and move closer the the lightness of love and happiness. Let the heart dance to the waiting joy within. Love is between two, but is first in you! Be happy and dance into the light of love, for it’s your purpose in this unique time on earth. Show your love!
Your Wife is My Friend
Oct. 2, 2014
Love means freedom. Freedom with love, and all its qualities such as trust, communication, compassion, openness, etc. Control, manipulation, and domination kill freedoms, and of course ‘love’. Love on ‘crutches’ always misses the ‘mark’. Friendship is vital to not only a couple in love, but the freedom to have friendship with others ‘independently’ apart from with other couples.
The old marriage was about a roller coaster of existence. The old marriage canceled most connection with friends both old and new, male and female. The old marriage was a lot about survival as well as survival of the marriage even to the point of enclosing yourself from the ‘we’ that you once pledged in love to one another. ‘You’re the only one for me’ has been compromised by serious doubts as well as the state of the moment in life of the world where social norms of marriage have all but disintegrated. Today’s world makes it socially more acceptable to ‘go it alone’. Still, couples are frequently locked in a ‘love-freedom closeout’ as well as being trapped in a relationship going no where but ‘same ole, same ole’ … at best.
Great couplings are a total submerging into one another creating a ‘third person’ called an us or a we (three) – you, me, and we! Wherever you go, the we is there, and yet the total commitment allows for the freedom of each other. It is that giving of freedom to the other that creates a deeper bonding to treasure each other. Most couples put ‘chains’ on each other, or ‘put their heads in the sand’ about each others time apart from the ‘we’ which isn’t bonded but based on ‘loose assumptions’ that don’t serve a deepening love.
Marriage must never become an obligation like a business arrangement, or be a coupling for fear of being alone to protect what has become a ‘going through the motions’. Compassion in a deep love is automatic. In a love that is dysfunctional it’s an opportunity for being in the heart, and deciding to do your best in rising above problems, or removing yourself while with total empathy, compassion, and respect for the other.
Today’s woman, in particular favors breaking the chains of past millenniums of being subservient to a man. Today’s evolved man wants a woman he loves to have all freedom she desires. As a ‘we or us’, each other’s mind and heart is melted into the other beyond the old necessity to be fearful, untrusting, possessive, jealous, etc. Love needs to be a celebration which naturally happens when two come as one!
99% of Males Abused
September 27, 2014
The greatest abuse is that which you put upon yourself! Abuse comes relative to one’s perception. Abuse might take any form or circumstance apart from coming through another human. That which causes emotional, psychological, physical, mental, spiritual discomfort or possibly enduring life harm is abusive or harmful. Early abuse is usually beyond a child’s capacity to understand why their actions or non actions created an adult action that hurt them to the very core of their being, which is generally innocence. As one grows up, it is then that many abuses have their origin from choices that the ‘adult’ makes.
One with early abuses in their perception, and often ‘credible’, lie in wait for infinite circumstances that attract more, or ever are the fuel to be the abuser. You cannot change that which you are unaware of. Many, males or females are abusive unknowingly or not taking responsibility for. Unexamined behaviors and corrections are sadly the norm for most of humanity. Particularly in the US, changes at this time are happening at such a fast pace that the ‘right use of time’ has taken a back seat to satisfying the outer ‘outer offerings’ at the expense of attention given to the inner.
Abuse, until recent years, has been largely uncommunicated to the vast majority. With the advent of greater communication through the medias, especially on the internet and cameras everywhere, the lights on everything are giving a feedback of activities never before collectively seen as common. The hidden personal abuses of infinite generations passed are now exposed as continuing presently, but subject to being seen, and hopefully a reminder to come from the heart and doing good.
The more sensitive gender of the female has been the victim, more hidden or covert, of abuse than was ever imaginable before the continued exposing of information denied or cloaked in all the past. Like ‘slaves’, until beginning in the last century, recognition of them and other categories were treated as not of the quality of white males. I’ve talked to many, many females over the last few years, asking them if they were abused as children or adults by males sexually or physically. To my surprise, those who had been adults for a few years answered more in the affirmative. When asked as to what percent of adult females in this country did they think were abused physically or sexually, including rape or unwanted molestation by males, they invariably said 60-90%!
Abuse from others must not be left without a dedication to let go of the ‘webs of coagulation of the mind, heart and spirit. Attract those with harmony, in their heart, and positive.
September 29, 2014
Love can be a demon! Some love is best to run from, at least without hurting the one you are/were stuck on. Love is perfect, but ‘mixed love’ that never gets a solid, positive footing with its elements of negativity swirling within it, can be a hopeless drama that has no end, unless you move on and recover while learning from the experience. You don’t need to be with someone to love them. Nor, do you need to not love another. Love is very capable of moving to a new house, so to speak, and still treasure where it has been. Love never dies.
Love wants to be where it is most able to express itself, and share that expression with another who has no limitations in their heart. When one or both won’t let go of personal unresolved issues that make the love connection problematic, the situation becomes ‘sticky’. When one tries to disconnect, sometimes the other exhibits recurring displays of resistance that make the physical disconnect ‘sticky’. Love that is mixed with unresolved issues of one or both is like food laced with a hidden, addictive drug, or even a drug laced with some foreign matter that cheapens it for the seller but gives the buyer some of what he thinks he’s getting. So it is with most love. There is usually enough of the real thing to cover up the fears and ‘problematic things’ that create a negative dependency.
Roller coaster love always is sticky. To extricate yourself from the ‘battles of love’ is a phenomenon of karma for being where angels fear to tread, but you nevertheless took the plunge. Love can turn into a battle field where unresolved issues have come to the surface to hopelessly demand a harmony where the egos of dissension rule.
The secret of relationship is the same as living in California: Don’t dwell on the faults. Focus on what is working, not the negative. Relationshits come from not paying attention. The darkness is not your destiny. No matter how bad your past was you can start now.
All it takes is one person to see your highest possibilities, and you humbling yourself to be open and in your heart. If no one out there is doing that, let that one person be you. Quit identifying with your difficulties, finding justifications for them and arguing them. Become a force for your own potential. Shift your attention to what is going right and how great it could be.
There is a rhythm in the harmony of life and love that needs you to harmonize with! Make smooth music within for a classic dance with the joy and blessings that will follow it. Falling in love might just be a ‘fall’. Rise in love together endlessly! Why get stuck in love that only gets stuck in ‘sticky love’?
Mind Over Matter
September 9, 2014
Mind over matter, you don’t mind it don’t matter. Live in the present and be present. Living in the past is anti living. It doesn’t exist any more. Living in the future, same dilemma, doesn’t exist. Just be rooted and centered in the moment. Why become friends with the enemy that manifests itself as a mind that clings to what isn’t worth clinging to. Yesterday is not today nor the future buried in yesterdays. As the world turns, it’s always a new sky and a new moment. However, the world has memories too. Live in a desert or a winter frozen climate, and every year the same cold and heat with little variation. Live in a climate that is nurturing year around, and year after year it’ll be a positive experience with changes but not extreme and uncomfortable or debilitating.
Life does matter, it’s up to you to make it matter. Always let your internal win over your external. You are not a ‘tree’ or an inanimate object that has no ability to correct its path. You are walking down the road of life that vibrates for most with infinite possibilities. YOU ARE NOT JUST ‘MATTER’! You are the result of billions of years to arrive at this point. Don’t let ANYTHING stop you from letting it be a display of gratefulness.
Those people who are in your life, likely don’t think this way, but are mindlessly moving two steps forward, and a little over two steps backward! Consider repositioning yourself in terms of time spent unnecessarily in their presence, but maintaining a lighter connection. Energies of others latch on to your energy unconsciously bringing you in harmony or disharmony with them.
In harmony with your higher self, and that which matters will adjust you to those better outcomes that are available. Things that matter will be more automatic, and that which needs you to not fret and unnecessarily be ‘mattering’ or stressing over will present solutions that come with all problems. Change is inevitable. Make the changes where the mind and feelings matter, that are in the negative. The body is made to listen to what matters in the mind and heart. Focus on the moment with the heart and awareness. The life you save that matters most is yours!